I went to my new doctor recently for a routine physical, which I felt really good about since I've been uninsured and basically ignoring my physical well being for the past decade or so. I worry all the time that I've got some awful disease, so the opportunity to start with a clean slate was very appealing. One of the tests performed was some sort of breathing test where I had to blow real hard into a tube for three seconds. Apparently I didn’t do so well on that test, which didn’t surprise me since I was a smoker for 18 years (it’ll be a year in January since I quit!). When Dr. McClain looked at the results, he felt it warranted a chest X-ray just to get a better look. So I came back a few days later for the chest X-ray and he said they’d call me in a few more days with the results.
This past Monday the doctor’s receptionist called while I was outside raking leaves to tell me I needed to come in to pick up some paperwork and schedule a CT Scan of my chest. This was needed because while examining my chest X-ray, Dr. McClain saw a mass in the upper part of my left lung. Now I have no medical background, but I didn’t think that sounded too good. In fact, I think my head started spinning at that point and I asked the receptionist to re-explain what she had just said. Within a few minutes I dropped my leaf rake and got on the internet to search for “6mm density in lung.” Bad idea. Nothing but stuff about lung cancer. I went to Dr. McClain’s office right away to get the referral for the CT scan because I knew I’d go crazy waiting to find out some definite answers to what was going on in my left lung.
I have to say that during the past week my friends, Greg & Jessica, were so great. I really didn’t want to tell anyone in my family about what was going on because I didn’t feel it would be fair to make everyone else worry. One of the good pieces of information I found on the internet indicated that in 70% of the cases like mine, the mass is benign. But was that good news? If that was true, it meant I had a 30% chance of having lung cancer. Still, the odds were in my favor and I knew I had to try not to worry until I found out something for sure. But I had to tell somebody. Greg & Jessica, who I will write about a lot more, were really there for me in a way that only your friends can be. We were able to joke about it and lighten things up until I went in for my test.
My appointment was scheduled for Thursday. I went in to the diagnostic imaging center at 1pm, hungry and thirsty from not being able to eat or drink all morning before the test. In the waiting room there were about six other people who all happened to be women. Is that a coincidence? Maybe women just have more stuff going on with their bodies that requires more screening and maintenance. I don’t know. Anyway, this super cute nurse named Jamie took me in to the room to do the CT scan. I climbed onto the place where you lay down and Jamie started the machine. That was a strange moment - a very big dose of reality. I thought of Jim Carrey playing Andy Kaufman in Man on the Moon when he’s getting the CT scan. After doing the first round of being passed through the large doughnut, Jamie had to inject iodine in me and do it again. The whole thing only took about half an hour. As I left, I tried to convince myself that I wouldn’t think about it all weekend since it would be the following Monday or Tuesday before I would hear anything.
Dr. McClain’s office called the next morning. I was still in bed (imagine that) and answered the phone kind of groggy. I don’t think I’ve ever had a feeling of being so much in the present as I did at that moment when the receptionist said she was calling with my results. I know I’m being all dramatic about it, but for a second there I really did have that feeling of time standing still as she said…"it was a scar. Nothing to worry about." It was probably from a minor infection or something like that from years ago. I think I felt about a thousand pounds of pressure coming off my chest and shoulders. What a relief.
I have to say that this has been kind of a profound experience for me. Even though I knew there was a very high success rate of removing an early stage of lung cancer if that had been the case, I did spend a lot of time considering my own mortality and asking things like, “what if I only had another five years to live?” What about one year? What about ten years? What about six months? This is something I’ve heard discussed and been a part of discussing many times, but when it gets personalized and you’re faced with those kinds of questions not as philosophical or hypothetical scenarios, but as an inevitable and possibly imminent reality, it changes you.
Wow, that was a scary read! Of course, your tone had a certain foreshadowing, but I wasn't sure. I can totally see how many factors of your situation made you really feel like "oh shit, this is it...the reason I've been avoiding going to the doctor for all these years! Something's terribly wrong!" But, it wasn't. I'd say I'm glad, but then there's an automatic "YOU'RE glad?" that would only be fair, so I'll just say that I'm *very* happy to hear that this intense week ended with good news for you. A weight off your chest, indeed.
And now you can certainly be all the more proud that you're no longer a smoker!
Jim, I love you. In just a month you've become one of my best friends. I'm glad you're okay.
wow, you have no idea how this made me feel better. i just recently heard from my doctor that i have a black spot on my right lung and how he would like to run some tests on me nex week. i have been freaking out for like 2 days now, so i finally decided to look up some info. and i stumbled upon this, i dont normally respond to anything, but ur story compelled me to do so. thank you for writing this, it gave me hope, and congrats on having more time to live lol im happy for you.
Wow!! I'm living this nightmare right now. I'm supposed to go in for a CT for a "spot" on the upper left side of my lung Friday morning. I've been feeling all the same things as you - the whole "what's going to happen if I die?" thing. Making it worse is the fact that I have two very young children. I was a "social smoker" until yesterday. I came home and threw out the few cigarettes that were in the house. I've been looking into almost everything I can find on the internet and my own doctor even said "It could be nothing." That doesn't really help too much and the waiting SUCKS. But I found your blog and it really helped. Thanks!!
Wow- Mindy. You sound so much like me. I also have 2 very small children (32) social smoker as well. (until today!!) I have a bopisy scheduled for tomorrow and scared out of my mind. I have a 1.5 cm nodule in my right lung. The radiologist who read it said it looked to be too dense to be a infiltrate. (such as pneumonia) They wanted me to wait 2 weeks for another CT to see if it grew but I really needed a biopsy NOW so I could know what I was dealing with. Now I'm scared to death of what the results could be. I hope you are doing well and I'll check back once I have my results.
I just got back from having a second set of x-rays done on my lungs. I had a bad cold two weeks ago and the doc didn't like the way my lungs sounded, so I had the first x-ray done. The results came back the next day with a spot on my left lung. I was told that this could be just an infection showing up from the cold, but to be on the safe side to repeat the x-ray in two weeks. Regardless to say, I've been sweating it big time. I found your blog and feel a little better. I will feel a whole lot better if the results on the second x-ray are clean! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Wow-that must be a tremendous relief.
I am scheduled for a pulmonary breathing test as I've had pneumonia,been on inhalers,steroids,etc... Had to go back to the doctor on Thursday since I am still experiencing pain in my back and breathlessness. He put me on 2 new inhalers and my test isn't until June 11th. I am very scared as it just seems soo long before I'll find out anything. Also, I have chronic anxiety .
Did you experience any shortness of breath? The pain in my back and the breathlessness are why the doctor is doing the lung capacity test. I know my lung capacity isn't what it should be but the doctor says the lungs have cleared from the pneumonia. He's obviously looking for something else and he's not that easy to talk to so it's double scary.
Lynn18
I don't think I ever experienced any shortness of breath, but my doctor wasn't impressed with my performance on that lung capacity test. I chalk that up to being a smoker for almost 18 years, but thank goodness I finally quit two years ago.
The most important thing I learned out of this whole thing was not to jump to any conclusions concerning your health. Hard as it can be, just wait until you know all the facts before you get yourself upset about anything. And if you don't have good communication with your doctor, I think you should definitely find a new one.
Best,
Jim
The doctor called me yesterday and wants me to come in for a 2nd chest x-ray. The first one showed a spot. Could be a shadow, she said. Still, it scared me. I initially went to the doctor with what I thought were unrelated symptoms: extreme fatigue, feeling of depression, bottom of my feet hurting and burning. As part of the physical, she took blood and a chest x-ray. I'm scared that it could be lung cancer. Some of the symptoms of lung cancer is fatigue, depression and even extremity pain (feet). I'm only 50 years old for goodness sakes...this can't happen to me!! I'm trying to stay calm until the 2nd x-ray is done and the results are back. I go the week of July 13th. I'll post the results here. Thanks for letting me vent.
People keep finding this blog post because it comes up in search engines for a number of different terms related to this subject. I am obviously no expert on medical issues, nor am I even qualified to give serious advice about anything, but this post has gotten more attention than I ever expected or intended. In addition to the comments posted here, I have received a number of emails and I know from my site statistics that about thirty people read this page every day. I sincerely hope that simply having a place to vent or relate to people with similar fears has helped at least a few of you to relax and keep things in perspective. It's very common for people, including myself, to take a little bit of preliminary information, do some internet searches, and find all kinds of terrible possibilities. I did exactly the same thing when I was told there was a density in my lung, and all I found was stuff about lung cancer. This was obviously a legitimate concern or else there would have been no need for additional testing, but it turned out to be no big deal - simply some scar tissue on my lung, which is apparently pretty common.
If I can offer one bit of humble advice, it would be to stay off the internet until you have concrete information! In your case, Debbie, if you research enough you'll find that some of the symptoms you describe are symptoms for a lot of different things, some serious and some not. The fact of the matter is you don't really know anything until the doctor's have a chance to do their tests and give you a diagnosis, and even then you can and probably should get a second opinion if it's something serious. Until you know all the facts, just spend some quality time with family or friends, go to see a movie, read a good book, or get outside and get some fresh air. Whatever you enjoy, you should be doing it now because life is definitely too short to be worrying about things that may or may not even be true.
This subject has taken on a different meaning and become more difficult for me in the past months because my poor, sweet Aunt Patty was actually diagnosed with an advanced stage of lung cancer last year. She's only in her early 50s and has already been through chemotherapy and radiation, but it's just too far along to stop it. I see her once or twice a week because she's staying at my mother's house now, but I never really know what to say to her and I can hardly imagine how she feels and how scared she must be. It's a very helpless feeling for Patty and my entire family, and I wish more than anything that I could do something to help her. I guess all I can do is try to be around if she needs me. If anyone reading this has been diagnosed with an advanced stage of lung cancer or any other terminal illness and has found a place of inner strength from which to view and deal with the situation, I would be grateful if you felt inclined to share your thoughts and feelings on the subject. I know Patty would appreciate it and possibly feel comforted in some small way. If you would like to write her, please email me using the contact form here and I will provide a mailing address.
I had my 2nd x-ray done and it also shows a spot. The doctor is scheduling me for a CT Scan. I will take your advice and stay off the internet until this is over. The waiting is hard, but it surely is harder reading all the scary stuff, when it may be for naught. I'm glad this blog is here. It really has helped me.
Debbie
Debbie - what happened? How are you?
That is great for your Aunt to have emails to answer. Maybe she can get a lot of prayers, and new friends. It helps when someone else is going through the same crisis, it helps to not feel so alone.
I will pray for her to have peace in any way she needs it.
A couple of months ago, my mother went to the Dr with a bad cold and persistant cough. They said she had pneumonia, gave her antibiotics and wanted her to come back afterward for a chest xray to make sure the pneumonia was gone. The chest xray showed a spot on her lung. She was referred to a lung doctor who referred her for a biopsy. The biopsy came back positive for lung cancer. They told her if it hadn't spread to her lymph nodes that the best option would be lung surgery to remove about 1/2 of her lung to get the cancer. Well, the 2nd biopsy indicated that there was no cancer present in her lymph nodes.
I am wondering if they could be wrong about the cancer spot on her lung. How do they determind which ones should 'be watched' and which ones need to be removed. They said this is the slow growing form 'adenacarcinoma.' She is in denial and thinks if she does nothing, it will go away. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Can they be wrong? How do we know for sure that it really is cancer. She has no cancer symptons. The lung Dr said she could have had it for a long time, or it could be new. How do they know that she hasn't had it for many years and it is dormant?
While having acute sinusitis, ear infections and pneumonia, my dr ordered a chest xray. They found a 0.9 cm spot on my left upper lobe. I too have been scouring the internet and only coming up with CANCER! I have two young boys and I am scared out of my mind. I know the nodule is small and could be alot of things, but it definately makes you think. I went for my second xray this am and am anxiously awaiting the call.
Thank you to all of you who have posted on here....it's nice to read about some good things too!
Rene'
I recently had to go for pre surgery check up and tests. They found a spot on my lung right about where the heart is. I am worried, and so are all my family and friends.
I am a breast cancer survivor...2 years out...chemo and radiation. During a routine ct scan the dr discovered a small spot on my lung!! The radiologist said it was too small to be of any significance. Once I was told, it became quite significant!! I am scared to death. They are going to watch it for three months and then repeat the ct scan. I am trying to trust my doctors who tell me.."They are not concerned"! I cannot sleep at nights worrying that we are letting something go that could have been caught very very early!!
They say it might even be gone the next time...keep cool! WOW...it is so tough!
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